BAHAY NI LOLA

going home last weekend was exactly what i needed.eversince i’ve been a single mom, i’ve somehow detached myself from relatives knowing fully well that i’ve dissapointed them to an unimaginable degree.i was the family’s favorite,of whom everest-high expectations were set.lest, i can’t blame them for the akwardness, what happened to me has been taken as a family misfortune and i’ve been beating my brains out to prove them wrong, that my life would still go on.for the past months, they’ve been distant, til last sunday.

oct.16,2005, birthday ni lola.
celebration with the family, sa bahay ni lola.

as usual whenever the Perezes gather, feast is sumptuous.my uncles and aunts are fabulous cooks and watching them prepare the food was something i’ve really missed.my cousins, all twenty+ (i’ve lost count really) of them, were all there. i could hardly believe it when i heard their playful laughter or when i found myself jamming once again, with them and their guitars.while keeping an eye on my child, it was almost surreal, i guess i never thought things would go back to normal.

of course, there are still those akward moments like when lolo got shocked when i was there and upon seeing me,he just hugged me tightly.their neverending storytelling to visitors of how they have this apo who’s been a top student and a UP grad, who’s working in manila, then dropping to hushed tones when they speak of my being a single mom.i guess i can’t rush everything, but there’s still lot of time, and if it’s just the beginning of the process wherein everything would fall into place with my family, i can’t wait to see what’s next.

and if the way my uncles and aunties cajoled me into giving them sample,make that samples, of my spills for my call center stint is any indication, i can say they’re starting to be proud of me again.the looks and smiles they’re giving all throughout that day really made my day.finally, they’re starting to see i’m not giving up, they’re beginning to realize, as young as i am, i can make it on my own, i can take care of my child and of my family, who’s depending so much on me.just that, i needed a start.i’d be taking it one step at a time.it seems a long way but i’d get there, dahil dun sa bahay ni lola, i’ve realized proving them wrong would also be my way of making them happy.