silent scream

Feels like I'm groping in the dark.
The path is somehow familiar.
I am in a place I have promised never to visit again.
You made me break my promise.
There's this undeniable lump in my throat,
and a heavy weight lodged between my heart and my head.
I am still dizzy from the windfall,
and the end of this journey is not yet visible.
I can only affrod seconds of respite,
for fate made sure rest won't be one of my options.
Like a thief in the knife, you took my life. again.
You never returned it whole, and I am now left to pick up the pieces. again.
It feels like an unending journey, through which I'm fighting my way.
Every now and then you are there, and I keep on dreaming you would come to my rescue.
But each time it's like fate made sure to mock me…a hundred and one ways.
I am tired, but no one hear my cries.
I am exhausted but no one takes notice.
I am scared but no one understand.
How could they, when they see me, they only see you…
How could I, still have you… when you never gave me you.
A heavy weight lodged between my heart and my head.
searing…beating… breaking… slowly dying…

I am shouting but no one hears…
the silent scream of my soul…
left to fade until…

it swallow me whole.