of dede’s and meme’s

There are times you thought you knew everything there is to know about a person and about yourself. Until something happens that makes you think otherwise. In my case, it’s having a second child. With a situation as complicated as ours, we have never been on the running for the most outstanding parents’ title. We were immature, confused and childish. Fickle at most times, we had much difficulty making decisions. We’re not awfully young. Some people would even say we’re at the right age starting a family. But it takes more than age, takes more than guts in taking up responsibility. It takes prudence, it takes courage. Best not to go about it alone, from experience, it is possible but most definitely one of the hardest things to do. 

A little more than 3 years ago, I have deemed the father of my child as the worst father a child could have. It’s because of some of the things he’s done and more because of the things he has not. So I chose to stay away. Soon after that, I also thought I am the worst mother my child could have, so I horribly chose to stay away.

The times the 3 of us spent together could be quickly counted. Though those times were admittedly magical, we were just too scared to take it further. Some people would say selfish is more like it. And maybe that’s true. We might have been too scared and selfish to let go of our old carefree lives that we deliberately ignore things that should have been done a long time ago. Might be the same reason we were given a wake up call.

All hopes were almost lost in our so called relationship until another angel came. I came across a line that says ‘A baby is God’s sign that life goes on’. And so it went. Though it didn’t seem like it, we have decided to face the reality head on. We both knew this time there’s no turning back, for the minute we got together with our children, we knew in our hearts we’re hooked for life.

Waiting for time when the second angel is due, everything was done to make it up to our first born. I saw how he is as a father to a daughter. My child instantly became the proverbial daddy’s girl. I could not be more thankful.

And the newborn I now hold in my hands is needless to say, the apple of our eyes. From his cries for milk or diaper change to his small smiles and even his little giggles while sleeping, he is adored.

I would be lying to say it’s all been a bed of roses. Until now, neither of us ever had a long decent sleep. There are rings under our eyes but at the sight of our children we couldn’t care less. As humans, tempers flare once in a while but it passes. Nothing is ever soothing than an angel calling out "Mommy" or "Daddy". Each day is a challenge, a challenge to do the best we can, a challenge to bring out the best in each other, a challenge to give the best to our children, a challenge to make it thru the day. And all throughout, he’s been constant, unfailingly present and even -and he is not like this at all- willing to talk things out. I guess between feeding bottles and drapolene creams, he’s grown. I’ve also been listening more, bting down my retorts more, am able to keep quiet for a change and just obey, guess I have grown as well.

A little more than 3 years ago, I have deemed the father of my child as the worst father a child could have. It’s because of some of the things he’s done and more because of the things he has not. So I chose to stay away. Soon after that, I also thought I am the worst mother my child could have, so I horribly chose to stay away.

Now the father of my child is still not the best father and neither am I the best mom. But we’re all our children have and we are intent on doing our best. And really, it’s the best thing any parent can do. At the end of the day, if your child feels he is loved and complete, then you’re fulfilled.