…

i have spent the day at work trying to inspire myself with thoughts of you…
of how you’ve wrapped me in your warm embrace asleep last night…

then i came home to find out you won’t spend the night…
then i found these pics, these pages… what you’ve done for the day…
while i was busying myself missing you

every fiber of my being is at it’s breaking point right now…
i can’t even touch our kids for fear i might explode…
you, once again, ruined me today…

AND i am about to give up…
so help me God…this is my family…
and i want to give it all i have…
but my Lord, look into my heart…
you’ll see the pain’s so deep it’s etched in my very being…
look down, you’ll see me writing with nonstop tears falling…
Lord, look into my heart, it’s all shattered… and dead tired…
is it really too much to ask You, to give me back the father of my children?
is it really too much to ask You, to let me live happily, just this once?
i’m tired of too much pain, i’ve lived with it everyday
i’m tired of tears, of crying myself to sleep
of being calm the next day, only to fear the next instance i’d be hurting again so badly…