the magic stays with you

so true.almost 24 hours after, i am still elated. relaxed and energized enough to finish everything i’ve got to do at home and come to work hours early to accomplish things i need to do before my new team gets in. i am slowly transcending from “all work and no play” to “much work and some play.” thanks to that fan fab trip i had with the team and with my family. whoever said one can’t do family and career all at the same time is mistaken. at the end of the day, it all comes down to priorities, and how you manage them. i’m not saying i am perfect at it. right now i am just happy i am able to do it, and feel the magic as it happens. and after it did.

note: though some sites are growing rusty and old, some infrastructures need update and we’d appreciate if the ticket accomodates ALL attractions, and the mascots are now exclusively for paid photo opps, EK is still sort of a time warp. just like the time being, not perfect, but it still rocks!

at long last..

dang…has it been 3 months?
had I been that Busy? apparently, I was.not until a colleague asked me in passing “ei, you still write?” did I remember. then I was like ” oh shit, that’s why my notepad’s running out of pages. as embarrassing as it is, i have taken to pouring my thoughts on the pages of my notebook, together with my evaluation and training notes. that was how the last three months have been, filled to the brim that twas all i could do to document all the overflowing thoughts. thanks to the old school method of keeping journals, that now i have time with my good ol’ PC, i still can save those thoughts. the story, that little did i know, would lead to where i am right now.

• stress anyone? ( 08.13.08) i am now on the verge of challenging that anti-stress ad endorsing that tablet that claims to erase all signs of too much work. only thing holding me back is knowing it would not be able to win the bet and would just add to the amount of anxiety. yes. me-”the-all-work-and-no-play-is-good-for-you-girl” is officially stressed. yeah, there’s the usual fact that i have my hands full of the workload the bosses have so diligently handed. those things used to inspire me. used to keep me going. but now i find myself longing to shout for a good long break. as i’m one of those people who would be hard pressed to admitting to stress, i had to ask myself why. and voila, i realized i am also not motivated. ever since i have known how to write and read, this is the first time i have ever felt that thing. and it’s quite uhmmm, refreshing. i had to ask myself what difference it makes, feeling that thing. well, mainly, it made me see the real reason i am tired. it isn’t the amount of work, not even the pressure of meeting expectations. it is actually the fact, that when i look around me, the people who are supposed to be showing me the good example are running to the opposite direction. it’s now that i see, and this took quite a while, that my workload is such, because the one who’s supposed to be carrying on has done so, by delegating them to me.i live by “practice what you preach”, ” the leader adjusts the sails”,’ “a good leader is a good follower” and all other clichés to that effect.and i have reached a point when i can’t deny that my current superior simply doesn’t live up to that. the person i am pertaining to is good, brilliant even and she/he got my respect. though i have to say that now, i am fighting tooth and nail not to loose that.
• anxiety attacks (08.25.08) i’ve been coming home late for several weeks now. i sleep with the guilt that i am unable to spend as much quality time with the family i have worked so hard to keep. i sleep nowadays knowing that telling them i really wanted to be home as much as i can would not possibly suffice. having a 6month old and an almost 4 year old and 31 year old partner is supposed to be bliss. they are the inspiration that gets you thru the day. don’t they deserve much more of your time and energy. so why are they not getting it? are your priorities still on track. you very well know that of all things you have spent, you can never take time back.so what the hell are you doing? you convinced that at the end it would all be worth it?it’s your move, your call.
• bliss(09.10.08) “of all the things i’ve ever done, finding you would prove to be the most important one” cheesy i know. i am not even sure i got the lyrics right. but right now, this is exactly how i feel towards my partner, who has proven to be more than someone i can count on. he’s my fountain of strength, in his most unusual ways. he’s my source of confidence right when i felt i am loosing it. he’s the only thing certain when i am not sure of anything. in those rare moments of him being very sensitive, he goes all the way. and i couldn’t ask for more. really.
• i thought you’d never ask(09.11.08) i have pulled up all the courage to try out for this thing i have been eyeing since i started out a career in this industry. with all the might i could muster i announced i would be vying for it. and it prompted a heart to heart talk with my current boss. true the circumstances were quite controversial(in our own little world known as the company), and such is inevitable in an environment so small. though i have to say, the talk was all i ever hoped for and more. i would have to say, that for the record, my superior redeemed herself in my eyes. right there and then, i understood why and how things were the way they were. they just had to be. us being her subordinates need not stay where we are. we could grow. we cannot be complacent. and without her pushing us to move towards that word, we would just be idle. i am glad we had that talk. more than the understanding, it’s the lessons that should i not land the post, would make applying worth it. i thought i already had the best of bosses. i have to admit now it pays to have a boss who believes in things you don’t necessarily buy, it forces you to see the what’s on the other side.it pays to have a superior who would not allow you to stay within your comfort zone, it would make you realize what else you can do. it pays to have a boss who cuts you off midsentence every now and then, it makes you learn how to listen…more. it pays to have a boss who is not necessarily what you expected, but turns out to be exactly what you need. for the record, regardless of the outcome, i am grateful i have been under her wing. for the record, had she asked me to stay with the department during that talk, i would have said yes.
• at long last (09.15.08) TL. who would have thought that that blundering, stuttering, at-the-verge-of-tears tech support rep from 3 years back would be given such title? apparently, some people did, because those “some people” did not stop believing. apparently, my partner did, what with his proclamation that nobody else qualifies. apparently, i did, otherwise, i wouldn’t have tried out. though i would like to say, it has not been easy. i had to take each and every step to work towards this post. as obsessive compulsive as i am, i had to make sure that i have taken each measure to make sure i am right and i can do the job. i had to endure all those tests just to prove how ready i am. i just had to. cause i know i would not forgive myself for getting something i do not truly deserve. and i know i could only truly celebrate when the reward is the authentic fruit of my labor. and those of other people. yes. this is not only me. this is also those people who did not stop pushing and asking for more, because they truly believed i had so much more to give. this is those people who did not stop steering toward the right path, who did not stop talking whenever i go astray, those people who did not stop listening when i just had to bicker and vent. those people know who they are, and they would always be cherished. this is not only me. it has not been easy. and i know this time it would also not be easy. but just now, i am taking time to bask in the glory. i am taking time to thank the One up there who never stopped providing and guiding. thanks for the opportunity, thanks for the people. thanks for putting me here. i am not promising to be perfect, heck i am not promising anything, only that i wouldn’t let anybody down.