…AND I LAUGH AT MYSELF

Monday, September 19, 2005

just when one thought i’m living a miserable life, one would’ve to think again.i’ve gotten pretty decent IQ scores from the tests i’ve taken and i don’t have the proverbial ‘balat sa pwet’, but every now and then, stupid and funny (a.k.a. embarrasing) things happen.examples…

UNDERPASS
oct2004
my first job was in QC, i had no idea what exists outside QC.this is the very reason why a good friend voluntarily went with me when i went to looki for a new job a month after a gave birth.still full of excitement in passing an interview on the first day of application,we went to another company.after a series of seemingly neverending walkways and several call center ads on the walls,i blurted out (in a very audible voice) “sis, anong building na to?”. people stared at us and my friend surreptitiously whispered “sis, underpass to!” i just wanna melt then (at least now, i know makati like the back of my hand!)

BUS
oct2004
i stayed in a friend’s house in bulacan on my job hunting days.one of the interviews was scheduled on a gimmick day and we both realized we wouldn’t have anymore time to go back to bulacan after the interview.so we’ve prepped ourselves up for the day’s ordeal before we left the house. we both played with her curler and have painstakingly curled our hair.while in the bus, my friend took out her hairbrush and fix her hair, wanting the curls to stay.after a few minutes,my friend nudged me “anna, hindi ko matanggal tong brush”.we’ve spent the next hour or so detangling the brush from her ill-fated hair.at first, we’re doing it laughingly thinking of how hilarious the situation was,but after 30 minutes, we both wanted to cry ‘coz we haven’t made any progress at all.’twas then that an old guy from the back of our seat spoke “ineng, isa-isahin nyo tanggalin yung buhok para matanggal.” ’twas also only then that we realized we’re already catching the attention of other passengers. we followed the old guy’s advice, while my friend was already half-crying and whispering things like “hindi na talaga ako bibili ng mumurahing brush” or “bumaba na lang kaya tayo sa parlor at magpapagupit na lang ako…” five minutes before our stop we’ve completely detangled the brush from her hair but we kept our heads low on our way out. reaching a sidewalk, my friend chuck the brush straight into the first trash bin that we saw!hehe!

MRT
june 2005
my shift starts at 3am and ends at 12noon. a friend requested that i meet her in sm megamall right after a shift.i obligingly agreed.my friend specified that i take the mrt to avoid traffic, moreover she knew i wouldn’t take the mrt if she didn’t insist. i have not been too fond of that train ever since i’ve moved to makati,ang sikip-sikip kasi lagi sa ayala!but since i’ve given my word, i went to the station right after i’ve logged out.owing to the my being perennially late, my friend was constantly texting me, so i held on to my phone all the way to ortigas.i don’t know if it was due to lack of sleep or food (ndi pa ako nagla-lunch e!)or the fact that i was busy texting, but when i caught the rooftop of megamall within my peripheral view, i instinctively called out “ma,para!”. i just looked up from my phone to check out the reason for the sudden silence. ’twas only when i saw the stares people were giving me did i realize what i’ve done! the looks on their faces varied from disbelief to disgust to controlled laughter. ’twas like they’re expecting that any minute then, somebody would announce there’s a camera and we’re on tv!to make matters worse, the girl on my right-apparently realizing that it was no joke-smilingly said “o ayan miss, pumara na…” i raced my way out of the train and i’ve kept my head as low as i could! man, gusto ko lumubog sa floor nun! talk about embarrasing moments! until now, feeling ko ako yung kauna-unahang pumara sa loob ng mrt!

LINES

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

from Runaway Bride (1999, Julia Roberts, Richard Gere)

Ike Graham: Hey, don’t knock drunks in bars! It means they’re not out driving.
———-

[Maggie has just left her groom standing at the altar, and has jumped aboard a FedEx truck]

Ellie: Where is she going?

Fisher: I don’t know, but she’ll be there by 10:30 tomorrow.
———-

Maggie Carpenter: You’re a cynical, exploitive, mean-hearted creep who wouldn’t know real love if it bit him in the armpit.

———–

Ike Graham: [on the perfect proposal] Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.
——–

Maggie Carpenter: Is there one ‘right’ person for everyone?

Ike Graham: No, but I think attraction is mistaken for rightness.

———-
[Ike’s voice on his answering machine]

Ike Graham: Hi leave a message after the beep. If you want to send me a fax then buy me a fax machine.

——-
Maggie Carpenter: Bless me Father for I have sinned. My last confession was… well. Anyway, I have sorta a technical question. I’ve been having bad thoughts, really bad thoughts.

Priest Brian: Of an impure nature?

Maggie Carpenter: No, No, I want to destroy this man’s life, career everything. I want revenge. Now on a sins scale how bad is that? Can I Hail Mary my way out of that?

———

Maggie Carpenter: I am profoundly and irreversibly screwed up.
——-

Mrs. Pressmann: I’m thinking of changing back to my maiden name.

Walter Carpenter: You still remember it ?

——-

Maggie Carpenter: Gill, I am really afraid of needles, but that doesn’t make me a bad person…

[Gill shows her his rose tattoo on his chest]

Ike Graham: Look, look! I think this man is heart broken!

——–

Peggy: Well, there is one thing that brings warmth to my heart. [pause]

Peggy: Duckbill platypus.

Maggie Carpenter: No… that’s only funny at Camp Birchwood in the tent at three in the morning and it’s raining and my leg is the pole! And at a tick hunt! It’s not anymore.

Peggy: Let’s just give it a try.

——–

Maggie Carpenter: Benedict.

Ike Graham: Arnold.

Maggie Carpenter: I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I’d like to get married on a weekday while everybody’s at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.

Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

——–

Maggie Carpenter: I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. Will you marry me?

Ike Graham: I… I’ve got to think about this a little bit.

Maggie Carpenter: Good. I was hoping you’d say that.

from The Wedding Singer (1998, drew barrymore, adam sandler)

Robbie Hart: All right, remember - alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!

—–
Robbie Hart: Are you drinking, too?

Julia Sullivan: No, it’s Coca-Cola.

Robbie: Are you sure? There’s no rum in that Coca-Cola?

Julia: I’m not a big drinker. And if it was, I’d probably be puking more than that kid!

Robbie: Oh, I don’t think anybody could puke more than than kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him.

——

David ‘Dave’ Veltri: Little news flash, Pop. Ha. Harold ain’t so perfect. Remember when we were in Puerto Rico and we picked up those two, uh… well, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don’t remember paying.

——–

Robbie: Now let’s cut the stupid cake because I know the fat guy’s gonna have a heart attack if we don’t eat again soon. And while we do that here’s a little mood music for you.

——–

Glenn: This is a great idea. I’m glad you came around. You want to do some gambling and have some fun right away, or you just want to get married?

———

Man: Hey, buddy, I’m not paying you to share your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.

Robbie: Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

——–

Julia: Not porno tongue. Church tongue.

Robbie: Church tongue, I like that.

——–

Sammy: If you find somebody you can love, you can’t let that get away.

——–

Robbie: [singing] I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad / Carry you around when your arthritis is bad / All I wanna do is grow old with you. / I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches / build you a fire if the furnace breaks / Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you. / I’ll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold. / Need you, feed you, I’ll even let you hold the remote control. / So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink / Put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink. / Oh I could be the man to grow old with you. / I wanna grow old with you.

———-

[about woman]

Old Man in Bar: They rip your heart out of your ass.

———–

Rosie: [to Julia] : He wants to make money. You know - live in a nice house with wide windows and locks. You can’t expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there.

———-

Rosie: Are you nervous?

Robbie: No, I’ve been around lots of weddings before, so I figure it won’t be very different.

Rosie: No, not about the wedding. About the wedding night. Will this be your first time with intercourse?

Robbie: Uh…

Rosie: Well, don’t be ashamed. You know, when I got married, I wasn’t a virgin. I’d already had intercourse with eight men.

Robbie: Now, that’s something I didn’t wanna know about.

Rosie: That was a lot back then; it’d be like two hundred today!

———

Robbie: [to Glenn] I don’t even know your last name.

Glenn: It’s Gulia.

Robbie: Gulia? Oh, so Julia’s last name’s gonna be Gulia. Julia Gulia! That’s funny!

——

Robbie: Once again, Things that could have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!

——-

Glenn’s Buddy: Robbie Hart? I heard what happened to you at your wedding, that was so cold! You must’ve felt like shit!

Robbie: No it felt real good, thanks for bringing that up, man. Hey, my parents died when I was ten, would you like to talk about that?

Glenn’s Buddy: Why would I wanna talk about that?

Robbie: I don’t know

—–

Julia: Hey, Glenn, do you mind if we switch seats so I sat in the window seat?

Glenn: Mmm. I hate the aisle seat. Every time that drink cart comes by it bangs me in the elbows.

——-

Robbie: Can I borrow your credit card?

Sammy: You’re gonna pay me back, right?

Robbie: No. But if you don’t give it to me, I’m gonna tell everyone what you said at the bar.

———

Robbie: We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl… or boy.

———-

[at a job interview for a bank]

Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience?

Robbie: No, sir, I have no experience but I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.

——-

Julia: I puked.

Robbie: Okay. Don’t worry.

Julia: I vomited in my hair.

Robbie: All right.

Julia: Does my hair smell bad?

[Robbie smells her hair]

Robbie: No, it smells good, actually.

———

Robbie: Hey, the goofball brothers!

Tyler: Is it true you’re in the middle of a nervous breakdown?

Robbie: What? No!

Petey: Nervous breakdown! Nervous breakdown!

Robbie: Who said that?

Tyler: Everybody’s been saying that.

Robbie: Everybody? You’re eight years old… the only people you know are your parents!

Tyler: Is it true you’re going to end up in a mental institution?

Petey: Cuckoo’s nest! Cuckoo’s nest!

——–

Robbie: Hey, psycho, we’re not going to talk about this. It’s over. Now get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.

——–

Glenn: Who are you going out with?

Holly: Robbie.

Glenn: Oh good, that guy needs to get laid.

Holly: Excuse me! Just because he’s going out with me doesn’t mean he’s going to get laid.

[Glenn and Julia look at her]

Holly: … All right, he probably will.

——-

Julia: May I ask what happened with Linda?

Robbie: She wasn’t the right one, I guess.

Julia: Did you have any idea she wasn’t the right one when you were together?

Robbie: I should have. Uh, I remember we went to the Grand Canyon one time. We were flying there and I’d never been there before and Linda had, so you would think that she would give me the window seat but she didn’t and… not that that’s a big deal, you know. It’s just there were a lot of little things like that. I know that sounds stupid…

Julia: Not at all. I think it’s the little things that count.

———
Holly: I mean, you know why she’s marrying him, dont’ you?
Robbie: The money thing? Security? A nice house? I guess that’s important to some people.
Holly: No, it’s not important to some people, Robbie. It’s important to ALL people.
Robbie: Really? Well, then I guess I’m in big trouble.

——
Andre: Hey, you know what you must do… relax; don’t do it.

——–
Glenn: Hey, asswipe, don’t go snitching to Julia about this. I know you got a little crush on her, but you gotta face the facts: she’d rather go to bed with a REAL man. Not some poor singing orphan.
Robbie: All right, shithead. I haven’t been in a fight since I was in the fifth grade, but I beat the shit out of that kid, so now I’m going to beat the shit out of you.
[Old guy throws a weak punch at Glenn and misses horribly]
Robbie: Hey, what are you doing, man?
Old Man in Bar: I’m sorry. I used to be much stronger.

———
Robbie: That’s it, man, starting right now, me and you are going to be free and happy the rest of our lives!
Sammy: I’m not happy. I’m miserable.
Robbie: Wha - what?
Sammy: See… I grew up idolizing guys like Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino because they got a lot of chicks. You know what happened to Fonzie and Vinnie Barbarino?
Robbie: Yeah, I read that Fonzie wants to be a director and Barbarino, I think… the mechanical bull movie? I didn’t see it yet.
Sammy: Their shows got canceled. Because no one wants to see a fifty-year-old guy hitting on chicks.
Robbie: So what are you saying?
Sammy: What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.
Old man in bar: [Comes up behind him and hugs him] Everything is going to be all right.

———-
Kate: Come on, Andy! Move your ass!
Andy: Hang on, hon! I’m watching Dallas! I think J.R. might be dead or something - they shot him!

———-
Julia: You must be Linda.
Linda: Yeah, that’s me, Robbie’s fiance. Who are you?
Julia: I’m Julia Sullivan. Would you tell him that I came by to see him?
Linda: Oh yeah, surely will, Jennifer.
Julia: Hey, it’s Julia -
[Door slams]

———
Robbie: How did you know that Glenn was the right one?
Julia: The right one… I always just envisioned the right one being someone I could see myself growing old with.

———-

Holly: Robbie, I have to talk to you!

Robbie: I can’t talk right now.

Holly: Are you back with Linda?

Robbie: No! Why? Who said that?

Holly: Julia. She went to your house to tell you she was falling for you and Linda answered the door in her underwear! She was so upset, she and Glenn just jumped a plane to Vegas.

Robbie: What do you mean? They’re getting married tomorrow!

Holly: Well, apparently that wasn’t soon enough.

———

Rosie: [rapping] I said hip hop, a hibbi to da hibbi da hip hip hoppin, ya don’t stop-a rockin’ to da bang bang boogie say up jump da boogie to da rhythm to da boogie da beat!

from Ever After (1998,drew barrymore,anjelica huston)
Leonardo da Vinci: You cannot leave everything to Fate, boy. She’s got a lot to do. Sometimes you must give her a hand.

——
Rodmilla: Some people read because they cannot think for themselves.

——–
Danielle: Forgive me your highness, I did not see you.
Henry: Your aim would suggest otherwise.

——–
Maurice: [to Danielle] I thought I was looking at your mother.

——
Henry: Do you mean to say you find me arrogant?
Danielle: Well you gave one man back his life but did you even glance at the others?

——–
Leonardo da Vinci: Come, let’s see these paintings of yours.
Gustav: Now?
Leonardo da Vinci: When your as old as I am, son, now is all you have.

———
Henry: [as Danielle rushes away] Have we met?
Danielle: I do not believe so, Your Highness.
Henry: I could have sworn I knew every courtier in the providence.
Danielle: Well, I’m visiting a cousin.
Henry: Who?
Danielle: My cousin.
Henry: Yes, you said that. Which one?
Danielle: Th-the only one I have, sire.
Henry: Are you coy on purpose or do you honestly refuse to tell me your name?
Danielle: [stops quickly] No.
[quickly heads towards the gate]
Danielle: And yes.
Henry: Well, then, pray tell me your cousin’s name so that I might call upon her to learn who you are. For anyone who can quote Thomas More is well worth the effort.
[Danielle stops]

——–
King Francis: You sir are restricted to the grounds.
Henry: Are you putting me under house arrest?
King Francis: Do not mock me, boy, for I am in a foul disposition. And I will have my way …
Henry: Or what? You’ll ship me off to the Americas like some criminal? All for the sake of your stupid contract?
King Francis: You are the Crown Prince of France!
Henry: And it is my life.
Queen Marie: Francis, sit down before you have a stroke. Really. the two of you. [to Henry]
Queen Marie: Sweetheart… you were born to privilege and with that comes specific obligations.
Henry: Forgive me, Mother, but marriage to a complete stranger never made anyone in this room very happy.
King Francis: You will marry Gabriella by the next full moon or I will strike at you in any way I can.
Henry: What’s it to be, father, hot oil or the racks?
King Francis: I will simply deny you the crown and… live forever.
Henry: Good. Agreed. I don’t want it.
[Walks out]
King Francis: [to the Queen, fustrated] He’s your son.

———-
Leonardo da Vinci: I know that a life without love is no life at all.
Henry: And love without trust?

——-

Danielle: You, sir, are supposed to be charming.
Henry: And we, princess, are supposed to live happily ever after.
Danielle: Says who?
Henry: You know, I don’t know.
Grand Dame: My great-great-grandmother’s portrait hung in the university up until the Revolution. By then, the truth of their romance had been reduced to a simple fairy tale. And, while Cinderella and her prince did live happily ever after, the point, gentlemen, is that they lived.
——-
Henry: You told me it was a matter of life or death.
Leonardo da Vinci: A woman always is.

——–
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do finally find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you’re supposed to be with never appears, or she does, but you’re too distracted to notice? Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let’s say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you’re supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?

———

Danielle: A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live? Leonardo da Vinci: Then I shall have to make you wings.

——–
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Darling, nothing is final ’til you’re dead, and even then, I’m sure God negotiates.

——-
Danielle: It is not fair, sire. You have found my weakness, but I have yet to learn yours.
Henry: But I should think it was quite obvious.

——–
Henry: You’re looking well, Marguerite.
Marguerite: You’re welcome to look, your highness.

———
Young Gustave: You look like a *girl*! Young Danielle: That’s what I am, half-wit! Young Gustave: Yeah, but today you look it. Young Danielle: Boy or girl, I can still whip you!

———–
Danielle: You are the only mother I have ever known. Was there a time, even in its smallest measurement, that you loved me at all?
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: How can anyone love a pebble in their shoe?

————–
Henry: I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once.

———
[after DaVinci opens a locked door by removing the pins from the hinges]
Louise: Why, that was pure genius!
Leonardo da Vinci: Yes, I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door!

———–
[looking at the books in the Franciscan monastery]
Danielle: It makes me want to cry.
Henry: Pick one.
Danielle: I could no sooner choose a favorite star in the heavens.
Henry: What is it that touches you so?
Danielle: I suppose it is because when I was young my father would stay up late and read to me. He was addicted to the written word and I would fall asleep listening to the sound of his voice.
Henry: What sort of books?
Danielle: I would rather hear his voice again than any sound in the world.
[Henry smiles, looks around him as the smile fades, then heads down the stairs, away from Danielle, Danielle turns]
Danielle: Is something wrong?
Henry: [turns to face her] In all my years of study, not one tutor ever demonstrated the passion you have shown me in the last two days. You have more conviction in one memory than I have… in my entire being.
[laughs slightly, walks away, Danielle follows]
Danielle: Your Highness, if there is anything I have said or done -
Henry: Please… don’t. It’s not you.

———
[Jacqueline is complaining about having to dress up like a horse for the masque]
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Honestly, Jacqueline, a horse is one of God’s noblest creatures.
Jacqueline: Why don’t I just pull the carriage while I’m at it.
Baroness Rodmilla De Ghent: Well, if you think it will get us there any faster.

——–
Danielle: If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?

———–
Henry: I offered you the world and at the first test of honor I betrayed your trust.

———–
Captain Laurent: Prince Henry suffers from an arranged marriage, signore, among other things…

————
Henry: How do you do it?
Danielle: What?
Henry: Live each day with this kind of passion. Don’t you find it exhausting?
Danielle: Only when I am around you. Why do you like to irritate me so?
Henry: Why do you rise to the occasion?

——–
Henry: I kneel before you not as a prince, but as a man in love… I would feel like a king if you, Danielle De Barberac, would be my wife.

———–

Henry: Danielle!
Danielle: Say it again
Henry: I’m sorry
Danielle: No, the part where you said my name

———-
Henry: You swim alone, climb rocks, rescue servants, is there anything you don’t do?
Danielle: FLY!

————

Danielle: What bothers you more stepmother? That I am common? Or that I am competition?

———
[asking when they can meet again]
Danielle: I shall try.
Henry: Then I shall wait all day.
———-
Henry: I was born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
Leonardo da Vinci: Horseshit.

——–
Danielle: You were born to privilege, and with that comes specific obligations.
[pauses]
Danielle: Forgive me, sire, it seems my mouth has run away again.
Henry: It is your mouth that has me hypnotized.

———-

from Never Been Kissed (1999,drew barrymore,luke wilson
)

———-
Josie Geller: That thing, that moment, when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy and the only thing in focus is you and this person and you realize that that person is the only person that you’re supposed to kiss for the rest of your life, and for one moment you get this amazing gift and you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that that it will go away all at the same time. Cynthia: Damn girl… you are a writer.

———-
Sam: All I can tell you is that when you’re my age, guys will be lined up § around the block for you.
Josie Geller: You have to say that ’cause you’re my teacher.
Sam: Actually, I shouldn’t be saying that because I’m your teacher.

———–
Rob Geller: All you need is for one person to think you’re cool, and you’re in. Everyone else will be scared to question it.

————
P.E. Teacher: Now you are gonna complete these sprints, because if you don’t, you fail. And if you fail gym, you’ll never get into college.
Josie Geller: You guys are still telling that lie?
—–
Josie Geller: I have been beating my brains in trying to impress you people. Listen Gibby, Kirstin, Krysten, you will spend your whole lives trying to keep others down because it makes you feel more important, but why her? Let me tell you about this girl she is amazing. I was new here and she befriended me no questions asked. But you, you were only my friends after my brother, Rob , told you to like me. There is a great big world out there and it won’t matter if you were the most popular girl, the quarterback of the football team, or the biggest nerd in school. Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.

——–
Anita Olesky: Sex can be fun… when you’re old enough, which none of you are. I should know. When you lose it to some guy named Junior with bad breath in the back of a van at a Guns N’ Roses concert, your gonna wish you had listened to your mother when she said, “There not gonna want to buy the whole friggin’ ice cream truck when your handing out the popsicles for free!”
[giggles and sighs]
Anita Olesky: … So, any questions?
[every hand goes up]

———

———
Sam: [Sees Anita outside the class room] Hi… are you here for the Sex Talk?
Anita Olesky: Ooo… I like a man who gets right to the point!
Sam: Are you Pam?
Anita Olesky: …If you say so!
Sam: [Sam leads Anita into the room] Ok Class, this is Pam, she is going to lead us today in our Sex Talk.
Anita Olesky: I what! No, I what! H-Hi I’m P-Pam. Sex. Yes well Sex. What do you say about sex really. You like a guy… you do it with him… sometimes he calls, sometimes he doesn’t [she laughs]
Anita Olesky: Oooo.

———-
[during a “sex-ed” class in which the students are trying to put condoms on bananas, Tracy has just revealed to Josie that she wants to have sex for the first time. Josie is somewhat stunned, but tries to offer advice]
Josie Geller: You know, emperor penguins spend their whole lives looking for that one other penguin and when they meet them, they know. And they spend the rest of their lives together. Tracy: But I’m not a penguin.
Sam: [has walked up next to them as Josie talked] It’s an analogy.
[Josie turns to look at him and loses her grip on the condom which flies up and smacks him in the face.]
Josie Geller: [to Tracy] Excuse me. I have to go die now.

from My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997, julia roberts, dermont mulroney, cameron diaz, rupert everett)
Kimmy’s Mother: I insist you stay on for lunch.
Julianne Potter: No, no, no, no, no… Absolutely -…
George Downes: Love to! Love the bag, love the shoes, love everything. Love to!

————
Julianne Potter: Michael… I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years, I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and… well, now I’m just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn’t it?

———–
Kimmy Wallace: I love this man, and there is no way that I’m gonna give him up to some two-faced, big-haired food critic.

————
Michael O’Neill: Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just…
Julianne Potter: Passes you by…
Michael O’Neill: Passes you by…

———-

George Downes: Kindred spirits, eh? Julianne Potter: No, he’s nothing like me. He’s like you, actually, only straight.

————-
Julianne Potter: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that some psychopath was trying to break the two of you up. Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman. I didn’t buy you a gift. But this is on loan until you two find your song…

————
Julianne Potter: I’m pond scum. Well, lower actually. I’m like the fungus that feeds on pond scum.
Michael O’Neill: Lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond scum. On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much, that way. It’s pretty flattering.
Julianne Potter: Except it makes me fungus.

———–
Kimmy Wallace: He’s got you on a pedestal and me in his arms.

————-
George Downes: Tell him you love him. Bite the bullet.

—-
George Downes: It’s amazing the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.

————-
George Downes: You’re probably drumming your fingernails on the white linen tablecloth the way you do when you’re really feeling down. Perhaps even looking at those nails thinking, “God, I should have stopped in all my evil plotting to have that manicure.”

————-
George Downes: Why don’t we stop and have a drink? You can take a later flight.
Julianne Potter: No, no, no, no. I’m a busy girl. I’ve got exactly four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride’s fella and I haven’t one clue how to do it.

————

Julianne Potter: Crème brûlée can never be Jell-O. YOU could never be Jell-O.
Kimmy Wallace: I HAVE to be Jell-O!
Julianne Potter: You’re never gonna be Jell-O!
—
George Downes: The misery! The exquisite tragedy! The Susan Hayward of it all!

———
Julianne Potter: This is my one chance at happiness. I have to be ruthless!

———–
George Downes: Michael’s chasing Kimmy?
Julianne Potter: Yes!
George Downes: You’re chasing Michael?
Julianne Potter: YES!
George Downes: Who’s chasing you… nobody, get it?

from Jerry Maguire (1996, tom cruise, renee zellweger, cuba gooding jr.)
Jerry Maguire: I am out here for you. You don’t know what it’s like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?

———
Dicky Fox: The key to this business is personal relationships.

———-

Laurel: Don’t cry at the beginning of a date. Cry at the end, like I do.

———-
Dorothy: Look at me Laurel, I’m the oldest 26 year old in the world.

———–
Dorothy: On the surface, everything seems fine. I’ve got this great guy. And he loves my kid. And he sure does like me a lot. And I can’t live like that. It’s not the way I’m built.

————

Jerry Maguire: I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens. I’ll give you fifteen minutes to call me back.

——-
Laurel: You fuck this up, I’ll kill you!
Jerry Maguire: I’m glad we had this talk.

———-
Rod Tidwell: You are hanging on by a very thin thread and I dig that about you!

————

[Rod has just told Jerry he will keep him as his agent]
Jerry Maguire: That’s great. I’m very… happy.
Rod Tidwell: That’s what I’m gonna do for you. God bless you, Jerry. Now this is what you’re gonna do for me. You listening?
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, yeah, what can I do for YOU, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: It’s a very personal, very important thing. Hell, it’s a family motto. Now are you ready? Just checking to make sure you’re ready (Rod turns his boom box real low) here it is - show me the money. (He now blasts the boom box at full level) OHHH! SHOW! ME! THE! MONEY! Doesn’t it make you feel good just to say that, Jerry? Say it with me one time brother!
Jerry Maguire: …Show you the money.
Rod Tidwell: Oh, come on, you can do better than that! I want you to say it brother with meaning! Hey, I got Bob Sugar on the other line I better hear you say it!
Jerry Maguire: Yeah, ye - no, show you the money!
Rod Tidwell: AH! Not show YOU! Show ME the money!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Yeah, that’s it brother but you got to yell that shit!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rod Tidwell: Louder!
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!

————-
Avery Bishop: If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I’d do it. It’s not something I’m interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi’s or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I’m gonna get some fruit.

————–
Copy store clerk: That’s how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!

———–
Ray: D’you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D’you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D’you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I… I can’t compete with that!

————
Avery Bishop: There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don’t have it. I don’t cry at movies, I don’t gush over babies, I don’t buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON’T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, “Oh, poor baby.” But I do love you.

————-
Jerry Maguire: Have you ever gotten the feeling that you aren’t completely embarassed yet, but you glimpse tomorrow’s embarrassment?

————-
Avery Bishop: There is no real loyalty, and the first person who taught me that was you.
Jerry Maguire: I figure I was trying to sleep with you at the time.
Avery Bishop: Well, it worked.

———-
[Dorothy enters kitchen, catching Laurel eavesdropping]
Laurel: I heard.
Dorothy: No kidding. I looked over and saw the shadow of two curious shoes under the kitchen door.
Laurel: Dorothy, this guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest.

———-
Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.

———–
Dorothy: I just want to be inspired.

————
Dorothy: He’s coming over.
Laurel: Tonight?
Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over.
Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It’s a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom wrong. “Dear God, don’t let me be alone or I call my newly long suffering assistent without medical for company settlement.” If now all you still want is him to come over, I’m not saying anything.
Dorothy: Honey, he’s engaged.

———-

Dorothy: I’ve had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.

————
Dorothy: Maybe love shouldn’t be such hard work.

———–
Dicky Fox: If this
[points to heart]
Dicky Fox: is empty, this
[points to head]
Dicky Fox: doesn’t matter.

————
Jerry Maguire: Do you want this jacket? I don’t need it. I’m cloaked in failure!

————-
Jerry Maguire: Jump in my nightmare, the water’s warm!

————–
Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray. Ray: You said fuck. Jerry Maguire: Uh… yeah… I… Ray: Don’t worry. I won’t tell.

———–
Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.

———
Jerry Maguire: I won’t let you get rid of me.

———-
Jerry Maguire: I love you. You… complete me.
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at “hello.”

———-
Ray: What’s wrong, Mommy?
Dorothy: First class, that’s what’s wrong. It used to be a better meal, now it’s a better life.

———
Dicky Fox: Hey… I don’t have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I have failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my life. I love my wife. And I wish you my kind of success.

———
Jerry Maguire: We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You… complete me.

———-
Rod Tidwell: I feel for you, man. But a real man wouldn’t shoplift the pootie from a single mom. Jerry Maguire: I didn’t shoplift the pootie. [Rod gives him a long Look] Jerry Maguire: All right. I shoplifted the pootie.

——–
Dorothy: I’m sorry, I’m just not as good at the insults as she is.
Marcee Tidwell: No, that was pretty good.
Rod Tidwell: No shit.

————
Jerry Maguire: I hated myself… no, I hated my place in the world.

———-
[Having sex with Jerry Maguire]
Avery Bishop: Don’t ever stop fucking me!

————–

[Jerry and Dorothy are in the elevator and a hearing impaired couple gets on. The man of the couple starts talking with his hands, then they get off]
Jerry Maguire: I wonder what he just said.
Dorothy: My favorite aunt is hearing impaired. He just said “You complete me”.

—————

from Notting Hill (1999, julia roberts, hugh grant)
Anna Scott: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William: No, I don’t, actually. What’s that?
Anna Scott: Big feet… large shoes.

———-
[who will get the last brownie?]
Anna:wait, what about me?
Max: Sorry, you think *you* deserve the brownie?
Anna Scott: Well a shot at it at least huh?
William: Well, you’ll have to fight me for it, this is a very good brownie.
Anna Scott: I’ve been on a diet every day since I was nineteen, which basically means I’ve been hungry for a decade. I’ve had a series of not nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. Ah, and every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it’s entertainment. And it’s taken two rather painful operations to get me looking like this.
Honey: Really?
Anna Scott: Really. And, one day not long from now, my looks will go, they will discover I can’t act and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.
Max: [long pause] Nah, nice try gorgeous, but you don’t fool anyone.
William: Pathetic effort to hog the brownie.

———
Anna Scott: After all… I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

————
Bernie: But she said she wanted to go out with you?
William: Yes - sort of…
Bernie: That’s nice.
William: What?
Bernie: Well, you know, anybody saying they want to go out with you is… pretty great… isn’t it…?
William: It was sort of sweet actually - I mean, I know she’s an actress and all that, so she can deliver a line - but she said that she might be as famous as can be - but also… that she was just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
[pause]
William: Oh, sod a dog. I’ve made the wrong decision, haven’t I?

———
Honey: Oh God, this is one of those key moments in life, when it’s possible you can be really, genuinely cool - and I’m failing 100%. I absolutely and totally and utterly adore you and I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and more importantly I genuinely believe and have believed for some time now that we can be best friends. What do YOU think?

———–
Keziah: No thanks, I’m a fruitarian.
Max: I didn’t realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots…
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!

———-
Max: You haven’t slept with her, have you?
William: That is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
Max: “No comment” means “yes.”
William: No it doesn’t.
Max: Do you ever masturbate?
William: DEFINITELY no comment.
Max: You see? It means “yes.”

———-
William: Whoopsidaisies!
Anna Scott: What did you say?
William: Nothing.
Anna Scott: Yes you did.
William: No I didn’t.
Anna Scott: You said “whoopsidaisies”.
William: I don’t think so. No one says “whoopsidaisies” do they? Unless they’re…
Anna Scott: There *is* no “unless.” No one has said “whoopsidaisies” for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.
William: Exactly. Here we go again.
[He falls off the fence again]
William: Whoopsidaisies. It’s a disease I’ve got. It’s a clinical thing. I’m taking pills and having injections. It won’t last long.

———-
William: It’s as if I’ve taken love heroin, and now I can’t ever have it again.

———–
Anna Scott: Can I stay for a while?
William: You can stay forever.

————
William: I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are, my mother has trouble remembering my name.
Anna Scott: I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.

————-
Anna Scott: I can’t believe you have that picture on your wall.
William: You like Chagall?
Anna Scott: I do. It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through a dark blue sky.
William: With a goat playing the violin.
Anna Scott: Yes - happiness isn’t happiness without a violin-playing goat.

———–
Honey: William just turned down Anna Scott.
Spike: You daft prick.

————
Anna Scott: Rita Hayworth used to say, “They go to bed with Gilda; they wake up with me.”
William: Who’s Gilda?
Anna Scott: Her most famous part. Men went to bed with the dream; they didn’t like it when they would wake up with the reality. Do you feel that way?
William: You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.

————
Max: Let’s face facts, this was always a no-win situation. Anna’s a goddess, you know what happens to mortals who get involved with gods.
William: Buggered, is it?
Max: Every time.

———-
Spike: I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though.

————-
Max: James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.

————-
Spike: There’s something wrong with this yogurt.
William: Ah, that’s not yogurt, that’s mayonnaise…
Spike: ah, right-o then.
[continues to eat it]

————-
William: Is this your first film?
12-yr-old Actress: Well… actually it’s my 22nd!
William: Any favorites among the 22?
12-yr-old Actress: Working with Leonardo.
William: DaVinci?
12-yr-old Actress: DiCaprio.
William: Of course. And is… is he your favorite Italian director?

————
Anna Scott: “For June who loved this garden from Joseph who always sat beside her.” Some people do spend their whole lives together.

———–
Anna Scott: Hi. I’d just like to apologise for my friend, he’s really sensitive. Don’t worry about it! I’m sure it was harmless. I’m sure it just friendly banter. I’m sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts! Enjoy your dinner, the tuna’s really good.

————-
Bella: Do you want to stay? William: Why not? All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman.

———–
[talking about Anna Scott]
Writer: Oh, I see she took your grandmother’s flowers.
William: Yeah… bitch.

———-
William: Would you like something to eat? Something to nibble? Apricots, soaked in honey? Quite why, no one knows, because it stops them tasting like apricots and makes them taste like honey… and if you wanted honey, you could just… buy honey. Instead of apricots. But nevertheless they’re yours if you want them.

———
William: Sorry about the “surreal but nice” comment.
Anna Scott: Don’t worry, I thought the whole apricot honey thing was the real low point.

———-
William: Would you like a cup of tea before you go?
Anna Scott: No.
William: Orange juice? No, probably not… something else cold? Coke? Water? Some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?
Anna Scott: No.
William: Do you… always say no to everything?
Anna Scott: [thinks] No.

————

Anna Scott: What’s so annoying is now I’m so totally fierce when it comes to nudity clauses.
William: You have clauses in your contract?
Anna Scott: Yeah. “you may show the dent at the top of the artist’s buttocks, but neither cheek or if a stunt bottom is being used, artists must have full consultation”.
William: You have a stunt bottom?
Anna Scott: I *could* have a stunt bottom, yes.
William: Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own?
Anna Scott: Well yeah, I would. This is important stuff.
William: Hell of a thing to put on your passport, Occupation “Mel Gibson’s bottom”
Anna Scott: Actually Mel does his own ass work. Well why wouldn’t he.

———-
Anna’s Co-Star: God that’s an enormous arse.
Anna Scott: I’m not listening.
Anna’s Co-Star: Not honestly, it’s so sad, all those anorexic girls. She has enough to share around and still be big bottomed.
Anna Scott: I would think looking at something that nice, you and your bony little excuse for an arse would be well advised to keep quiet.

———-
Anna Scott: What do you think?
William: Gripping. It’s not Jane Austen, it’s not Henry James but it’s gripping.
Anna Scott: You think I should do Henry James?
William: I think you’d be wonderful in Henry James but this writer - writers, they’re pretty good too.
Anna Scott: You never get anyone in Wings of a dove saying “inform the pentagon we need black star cover”
William: And for me the book is the poorer for it.

————

Bernie: What’s the pay like in movies? I mean. Last movie. How much did you get paid?
Anna Scott: 15 million dollars.

Almost Famous (2001, kate hudson)

Anita Miller: This song explains why I’m leaving home to become a stewardess.

Lester Bangs: Of course I’m home. I’m always home. I’m uncool.

Elaine Miller: Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

Polexia Aphrodisia: Let’s deflower the kid.

William Miller: I’m dark and myterious and PISSED OFF!

Lester Bangs: The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.

Russell Hammond: If I die, tell Rolling Stone that my last words were “I’m on drugs!”

Penny Lane: You’re too sweet for rock and roll. William Miller: Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and I am PISSED OFF! I could be very dangerous to all of you! And you should know that about me… I am THE ENEMY!

Sapphire: Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!

William Miller: Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like “Love Thing,” where did you write that and who was it about? Russell Hammond: When did you get so professional?

William Miller: Don’t you have any regular friends? Penny Lane: Famous people are just more interesting.

Lester Bangs: So, you’re the one who’s been sending me those articles from your school newspaper.
William Miller: I’ve been doing some stuff for a local underground paper, too. Lester Bangs: What, are you like the star of your school?
William Miller: They hate me. Lester Bangs: You’ll meet them all again on their long journey to the middle.

Russell Hammond: I’m telling secrets to the one guy you don’t tell secrets to.

Anita Miller: FECK YOU!
Elaine Miller: HEY!
Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!
Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the “F” word.
William Miller: I think she said “feck.”
Elaine Miller: What’s the difference? William Miller: The letter “u.”

Dennis Hope: If you think that Mick Jagger will still be doing the whole rock star thing at age fifty, well, then, you are sorely, sorely mistaken.

Ben Fong-Torres: A Mo-Jo, it’s a very high-tech machine that transmits pages over the telephone! It only takes eighteen minutes a page!

Penny Lane: I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously then you never get hurt. If you never get hurt then you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.

Penny Lane: How old are you?
William Miller: Eighteen.
Penny Lane: Me too! How old are we really?
William Miller: Seventeen.
Penny Lane: Me too!
William Miller: Actually, I’m sixteen.
Penny Lane: Me too. Isn’t it funny? The truth just sounds different.
William Miller: I’m fifteen.

Jeff Bebe: Is it that hard to make us look cool?!

Polexia Aphrodesia: It’s all happening!

William Miller: I have to go home.
Penny Lane: You are home.

from The Green Mile (1999, tom hanks)
Paul Edgecomb: A big man is ripping your ears off Percy. I’d do as he says.

————-
Paul Edgecomb: Your name is John Coffey?
John Coffey: Yes sir boss. Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
Paul Edgecomb: Oh, you can spell can you?
John Coffey: Just my name boss. J-O…

———
John Coffey: I couldn’t help it, boss. I tried to take it back, but it was too late.

————
Paul Edgecomb: What did you just do to me?
John Coffey: I helped it. Didn’t I help it? I just took it back, is all. Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired.

———–
Dean Stanton: What did you do?
John Coffey: I helped Del’s mouse become a circus mouse, and go to that place Boss Howell was talking about down in…
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Florida?
John Coffey: Yes. Boss Percy bad. He mean. He stepped on Del’s mouse. I took it back though.

————

Paul Edgecomb: What do you want me to do John? I’ll do it. You want me to let you walk out of here and see how far you get?
John Coffey: Now why would you want to do a foolish thing like that?
Paul Edgecomb: When I die and I stand before God awaiting judgment and he asks me why I let one of HIS miracles die, what am I gonna say, that it was my job?

————
Old Paul Edgecomb: I guess sometimes the past just catches up with you, whether you want it to or not.

————-
Old Paul Edgecomb: They usually call death row the Last Mile, but we called ours the Green Mile, because the floor was the color of faded limes. We had the electric chair then. Old Sparky, we called it. I’ve lived a lot of years, Ellie, but 1935 takes the prize. That was the year I had the worst urinary infection of my life. That was also the year of John Coffey and the two dead girls
.

———–
John Coffey: Do you leave a light on after bedtime? Because I get a little scared in the dark sometimes. If it’s a strange place.

———-
Paul Edgecomb: The man is mean, careless, and stupid. Bad combination in a place like this.

————-
Paul Edgecomb: Men under strain can snap. Hurt themselves. Hurt others. That’s why our job is talking, not yelling. You’ll do better to think of this place like an intensive care ward in a hospital.
Percy Wetmore: I think of it as a bucket of piss to drown rats in. That’s all. Anybody doesn’t like it can kiss my ass.

————
[a rehearsal execution]
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Arlen Bitterbuck, you have been condemned to die by a jury of your peers, sentence imposed by a judge in good standing in this state. Do you have anything to say before the sentence is carried out?
Toot-Toot: [gleefully] Yeah! I want a fried chicken dinner with gravy on the taters, I want to shit in your hat, and I got to have Mae West sit on my face, because I am one horny motherfucker!

———
Percy Wetmore: Adios, Chief. Drop us a card from hell, let us know if it’s hot enough. Brutus “Brutal” Howell: He’s paid what he’s owed. He’s square with the house again, so keep your goddamn hands off him.

———-
Paul Edgecomb: What do you want, John Coffey?
John Coffey: Just to help.

—————
Paul Edgecomb: What did you do, big boy? What did you do to me?
John Coffey: I helped it. Didn’t I help it?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, but… how?
John Coffey: [shrugs] Just took it back, is all. Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired.

———
Paul Edgecomb: I just can’t see God putting a gift like that in the hands of a man who would kill a child.

————–
Paul Edgecomb: John, do you know where we’re taking you?
John Coffey: Help a lady?
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: That’s right. But how do you know?
John Coffey: Don’t know. To tell the truth, Boss, I don’t know much’o anything.

———
Melinda Moores: Why do you have so many scars? Who hurt you so badly?
John Coffey: Don’t hardly remember, ma’am.

———
Melinda Moores: What’s your name?
John Coffey: John Coffey, ma’am.
Melinda Moores: Like the drink, only not spelled the same.
John Coffey: No, ma’am. Not spelt the same at all.

———-
Melinda Moores: I dreamed of you. I dreamed you were wandering in the dark, and so was I. We found each other. We found each other in the dark.

———-
Paul Edgecomb: I’ve done some things in my life I’m not proud of, but this is the first time I’ve ever felt in real danger of hell.

——-
Old Paul Edgecomb: We each owe a death, there are no exceptions, I know that, but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile is so long.

———
Old Paul Edgecomb: We each owe a death - there are no exceptions - but sometimes, oh God, the Green Mile seems so long.

———-
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: [after Arlen Bitterbuck has been executed, and Percy Wetmore disrespects his body] He’s even with the house now, and you will keep your hands off him.

————-
Paul Edgecomb: On the day of my judgment, when I stand before God, and He asks me why did I kill one of his true miracles, what am I gonna say? That is was my job? My job?
John Coffey: You tell God the Father it was a kindness you done. I know you hurtin’ and worryin’, I can feel it on you, but you oughta quit on it now. Because I want it over and done. I do. I’m tired, boss. Tired of bein’ on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we’s coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There’s too much of it. It’s like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?
Paul Edgecomb: Yes, John. I think I can.

———–
Hal: [after Del’s execution] WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK WAS THAT? There’s puke all over the floor up there. And that smell! I had Van Hayes open both doors but that smell’s not going out for five damn years that’s what I’m bettin’. And that asshole, Wharton, is singing about it. You can hear him up there!
Paul Edgecomb: Can he carry a tune?
Hal: Okay, boys, what in the hell happened?
Paul Edgecomb: An execution. A successful one.
Hal: How in the name of Christ can you call that a success?
Paul Edgecomb: Eduard Delacroix is dead.
[to Percy] v Paul Edgecomb: Isn’t he? <<br>/p>

———
John Coffey: You know, I fell asleep this afternoon and had me a dream. I dreamed about Del’s mouse.
Paul Edgecomb: Did you, John?
John Coffey: I dreamed he got down to that place Boss Howell talked about, that Mouseville place. I dreamed there was kids, and how they laughed at his tricks! My! I dreamed those two little blonde-headed girls were there. They ‘us laughing, too. I put my arms around ‘em and sat ‘em on my knees, and there ‘us no blood comin’ outta their hair and they ‘us fine. We all watch Mr. Jingles roll that spool, and how we did laugh. Fit to bust, we was.

———
Paul Edgecomb: What happens on the mile stays on the mile. Always has.

———
Arlen Bitterbuck: Do you believe that if a man repents enough for what he done wrong, than he’ll get to go back to the time that was happiest for him and live there forever? Could that be what heaven’s like?
Paul Edgecomb: I just about believe that very thing.
Arlen Bitterbuck: I had a young wife when I was eighteen. We spent the summer in the mountains, made love every night. After we would talk sometimes till the sun came up, and she’d lay there, bare breasted in the fire light… that was my best time.

———-
[Edgecomb gives Coffey some cornbread]
Paul Edgecomb: My wife made it to thank you.
John Coffey: For what, boss?
Paul Edgecomb: [points to his groin] You know.
John Coffey: Oh, was she pleased?
Paul Edgecomb: Yeah. Several times.

———–
John Coffey: People hurt the ones they love. That’s how it is all around the world.

———
John Coffey: There’s lotsa people here that hate me, lots. I can feel it. It’s like bees stingin’ me.
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Well feel how we feel then. We don’t hate you. Can you feel that?

———–
[Watching Jerry Springer]
Lady in nursing home: It’s interesting.
Man in nursing home: Interesting? Buncha inbred trailer trash. All they ever talk about is fucking.

———–
Paul Edgecomb: We’ll be doing this for real tomorrow night and I don’t want nobody to remember some stupid joke like that and get it going again. You ever try to not to laugh in church when something funny gets stuck in your head? Same goddamn thing.

——–
John Coffey: That’s a smart mouse, Del, he’s like a circus mouse.
Eduard Delacroix: Correct, that’s just what he is too. He’s a circus mouse. When I get outta here, he’s gonna make me famous.

———
[about Coffey’s upcoming execution]
Paul Edgecomb: Now how about a preacher? Someone to say a little prayer with? v John Coffey: Don’t want no preacher. You can say a prayer if you like.
Paul Edgecomb: Me? I suppose I could if it came to that.

———–
Toot-Toot: Gettin’ to my knees. Prayin’. Lord in Heaven, sorry for all the bad shit I’ve done, all the people I’ve trampled on, I hope they forgive me, I won’t do it again, that’s for sure.

———-
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: You all right in there?
Paul Edgecomb: Yeah, for a man pissing razor blades.

———-
Paul Edgecomb: John, do you know where we’re taking you?
John Coffey: Help a lady?
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: That’s right. But how do you know?
John Coffey: Don’t know. To tell the truth, Boss, I don’t know much o’ anything.

———
Hal: Percy. Something to say?
Percy Wetmore: I didn’t know the sponge was supposed to be wet.
Hal: How many years you spend pissing on a toilet seat before someone told you to put it up?
Paul Edgecomb: Percy fucked up, Hal, pure and simple.
Hal: Is that your official position?
Paul Edgecomb: Don’t you think it should be?

———–
[about toot-toot]
Paul Edgecomb: Is his head properly shaved?
Dean Stanton: Nope, it’s all dandruffy and smells.
Paul Edgecomb: I’ll take that as a yes.

————
Eduard Delacroix: [in the electric chair, about to be executed] Don’t forgot about Mouseville. [Paul and Brutal nod]
Percy Wetmore: Hey. There’s no such place. It’s just a fairytale these guys told you to keep you quiet. Just thought you should know, faggot.

————
[after Wild Bill causes havoc and nearly kills Dean]
Harry Terwilliger: We thought he was doped.
Paul Edgecomb: You didn’t ask?
[Terwilliger shakes his head]
Paul Edgecomb: Well I don’t think that’s a mistake you’ll be needing to make again anytime soon is it?

———
Percy Wetmore: Deranged killer? He look more like a limp noodle to me. Hey!
[to a doped Wild Bill]
Percy Wetmore: You’ve been declared competent, son, ‘know what that means? ‘Means you gonna ride the lightning. Ha ha.
Dean Stanton: Percy, shut up and give us a hand.

———-
Harry Terwilliger: Can you believe this? The son of a bitch pissed on me!
William ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton: Y’all like that? I’m currently cooking up some turds, to go with it. Nice soft ‘uns. Uhhh! Have’em out to y’all tomorrow.

———
Jan Edgecomb: Honey, if you don’t tell me what’s on your mind, I’m afraid I’ll have to smother you with a pillow.

———-
[Brutal gets his first look at John Coffey, before Paul]
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: He’s enormous!
Paul Edgecomb: Can’t be bigger than you.

————
[Percy, zombie-like, approaches Wild Bill]
William ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton: What are you looking at, you limp noodle? Ya wanna kiss my ass? Ya wanna suck my dick?

———-
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: He’s chokin’. Whatever he sucked out of her, he’s choking on!

———
Paul Edgecomb: I wanna hear about this new inmate, aside from how big he is!
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Monstrous big!

——–
[after Coffey shares his cornbread with Del]
Eduard Delacroix: I thank you. Mr. Jingles thank you, my mom would thank you too but she’s dead.

——–
Paul Edgecomb: Seeing a man die isn’t enough for you, you gotta be close enough to smell his nuts cook?

———
[after finding Mr. Jingles alive after he steps on him]
Percy Wetmore: You switched ‘em. You switched ‘em somehow, you bastards. v Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Yeah I always keep a spare mouse in my wallet for occasions such as this.

———-
Harry Terwilliger: [to Paul] Percy met your mouse.

———-
Paul Edgecomb: We all know who your connections are Percy. You ever threaten a man on this block again we’re all gonna have a go. The job be damned.
Percy Wetmore: You done?
Paul Edgecomb: Get all this shit back in the restraining room, you are cluttering up my mile.

————
Paul Edgecomb: Toot, one more remark like that I’ll have Van Hay roll on two for real. And I’ll have one less crazy old trustee in the world.

———-
Harry Terwilliger: Paul, we’re not gonna have some Cherokee medicine man in here whoopin’, hollerin’ and shaking his dick are we?
Paul Edgecomb: Well actually…
Toot-Toot: Still prayin’! Still prayin’! Gettin’ right with Jesus!
Harry Terwilliger: Do it quietly you old gink!
Paul Edgecomb: As I was saying, I don’t think they actually shake their dicks Harry. Be that as it may Mr. Bitterbuck is a Christian, so I have the Reverend Schuster coming out.
Dean Stanton: Oh he’s good. He’s fast too. Doesn’t get ‘em all worked up.

———–
John Coffey: [singing as he’s being strapped to the electric chair] Heaven, I’m in heaven… heaven… heaven…

——-
Wild Bill Wharton: You love your sister? You make any noise, you know what happens. I’m gonna kill her instead of you. Understand?

———-
William ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton: [Brutus Howell hands out cold sodas to the other guards] Hey, hey, I’m gonna get some too, ain’t I?
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: My ass you get some too.
Paul Edgecomb: What makes you think you deserve any?
William ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton: [mutters] ‘Cause I got a big pecker…

———-
Earl the Plumber: I been fixing the plumbing in here for ten years. I ain’t never had to wear no damn tie before.
Bill Dodge: Well you’re a VIP today, Earl, so just shut up.

———
Harry Terwilliger: Piss on ME?
[he sprays Wild Bill with a fire hose]

———-
Paul Edgecomb: [to Dean Stanton who is standing in the doorway with a broom] You let him get past you.
Dean Stanton: No I did not.
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Three grown men… outsmarted by a mouse.

———
[Eduard has just been executed, and Paul comes up to the Mile to find Wild Bill sitting on his bed, ripping out chunks of his pillow and throwing the feathers around, singing loudly]
William ‘Wild Bill’ Wharton: Barbecue, me and you! Stinky pinky, pew, pew! Or dilly, Jilly, Hilly or Bob! It was a french-fried Cajun named Delacroix!
Paul Edgecomb: [Paul roughly hits his baton against Wild Bill’s bars] You are about ten seconds away from spending the rest of your life in the padded room!
[Wild Bill, who never takes an order or refuses to give out mayhem, stops immediately]

——–

John Coffey: He kill them with their love for each other. That’s how it is, every day, all over the world.

———-
[John Coffey has taken Mr Jingles in his hands after Percy stepped on him]
Brutus “Brutal” Howell: Oh, my God. The tail. Look at the tail.
Dean Stanton: What… what did you do?
John Coffey: I helped it.

————

from Cinderella Man (2005, russell crowe, renee zellweger)
Max Baer: It’s no joke, pal. People die in fairy tales all the time.

——–
Jim Braddock: I have to believe… that when things are bad… I can change them.

———-

Jim Braddock: For two hundred and fifty dollars I would fight your wife!
Joe Gould: Now you’re dreaming
Jim Braddock: …and your grandmother, at the same time.
Joe Gould: Teeth in or teeth out?
Jim Braddock: Take ‘em out!
Joe Gould: Then you’re dead, you’re down, you’re gone, no chance!
Jim Braddock: Two hundred and fifty bucks?
Joe Gould: Two hundred and fifty bananas!
Jim Braddock: [rushes to hug him] Joey!

——–
Mae Braddock: Maybe I understand, some, about having to fight. So you just remember who you are… you’re the Bulldog of Bergen, and the Pride of New Jersey, you’re everybody’s hope, and the kid’s hero, and you are the champion of my heart, James J. Braddock.

———-
Mae Braddock: Every time you get hit, feels like I’m getting’ hit too.

———-
Joe Gould: You have no heart!
Jimmy Johnston: My heart is for my family. My brains and my balls are for business.

———

from Pretty Woman (1990, julia roberts, richard gere)
[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian]
Vivian: Tell me one person who it’s worked out for.
Kit: What, you want me to name someone? You want like a name? Oh, God, the pressure of a name… I got it. Cindafuckin’rella

——-
Vivian: So, what’s your name?
Edward Lewis: Edward.
Vivian: Really? That’s my favorite name in the whole world.

——-
[At the beginning of the evening]
Vivian: In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

———
[after negotiating three thousand dollars]
Vivian: I would have stayed for two thousand.
Edward Lewis: I would have paid four.

———-
Edward Lewis: You and I are such similar creatures Vivian. We both screw people for money.

———-
Vivian: I got red, I got green, I got yellow… I’m out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left… the condom of champions… the one and only… nothin’ is gettin’ through this sucker. Whaddya say, hmm?

————-

Vivian: That would make you a… lawyer.
Edward Lewis: What makes you think I’m a lawyer?
Vivian: You have that sharp, useless look about you.

———
Edward Lewis: I think we both know she’s not my niece.
Barney: Of course.
Edward Lewis: And the reason I know that is that I’m an only child.

——–
Vivian: I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.
p>

——–
Lady at polo match: Edward is our most eligible bachelor, everyone is trying to land him.
Vivian: Oh, I’m not trying to land him, I’m just using him for sex.

———
Edward Lewis: How much for the entire night?
Vivian: Stay here? You couldn’t afford it.
Edward Lewis: Try me.
Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward Lewis: Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.

———
Kit: Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.

———–
Vivian: You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice.

———–
Vivian: Can I call you Eddie?
Edward Lewis: Not if you expect me to answer.

———
Edward Lewis: I told you not to pick up the phone. Vivian: Then stop calling me.

——–
Mr. Hollister: Just how obscene an amount of cash are we talking about here? Profane or really offensive?
Edward Lewis: Really offensive.
Mr. Hollister: I like him so much.

——–
[after meeting Vivian]
Elizabeth Stuckey: She’s wonderful! Where ever did you find her?
Edward Lewis: 976-BABE.

————
Vivian: I’m gonna treat you so nice, you’re never gonna let me go.

———-
Vivian: You’re late.
Edward Lewis: You’re stunning.
Vivian: You’re forgiven.

———-
Old Lady at Opera: Did you like the opera, dear?
Vivian: It was so good, I almost peed my pants!
Edward Lewis: She said she liked it better than Pirates of Penzance.

———–
Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?
Vivian: She rescues him right back.

———-
Vivian: People put you down enough, you start to believe it.
Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special woman.
Vivian: The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?
/p>

————-
Edward Lewis: You can’t charge me for directions!
Vivian: I can do anything I want to baby, I ain’t lost.

———
Edward Lewis: A buffet of safety?
Vivian: I’m a safety girl.
[Edward stands up] Vivian: All right, let’s get one of these on ya.

—————
Edward Lewis: I never treated you like a prostitute.
[Walks away]
Vivian: You just did.

————
Philip Stuckey: He mortgaged everything he owns, right down to his underwear, to secure a loan from the bank.

———-
Edward Lewis: What’s your name?
Vivian: What do you want it to be?
/p>

———–
Edward Lewis: You make $100 an hour and you have a safety pin holding your boot up?

———–

Shop assistant: Hello, can I help you? Vivian: I was in here yesterday, you wouldn’t wait on me. Shop assistant: Oh. Vivian: You people work on commission, right? Shop assistant: Yeah. Vivian: Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.

———–

Vivian: Are you sure you want me to stay the night? I mean, I could just pop ya real good and get outta here.
Edward Lewis: No, I’d really like you to stay. I don’t want to be alone tonight.
Vivian: Is it your birthday?
Edward Lewis: No, no. Not my birthday.
Vivian: Oh. ‘Cause you know, I’ve been the surprise at a lot of birthday parties.
Edward Lewis: I’ll bet you have.

————

[last lines]
Happy Man: Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don’t; but keep on dreamin’ - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin’.
Vivian: I want the fairy tale.

BAD WEATHER

8 SEPT 2005
   it’s one of those days when one dreads goin’ home ‘coz one knows she’s just gonna be treated to hours of being alone.’twas a blessing that drowsiness descended upon me the minute my back hit the softness of my bed.i was lost in the beauty of my dreams when i’ve awoken to the sounds of thunder (i’ve never been comfortable with thunders).i immediately got up to close the windows only to find myself whoozy. my hand automatically went to feel my forehead and i’ve realized the threatening fever has pushed through.refusing to feel bad about it, i took a quick shower in hopes of decreasing my temperature.it’s one of those occasional fevers that would not let one sleep, accompanied from time to time with headaches and watery eyes.

   i gotta do something.i need rest.i started on the latest sparks novel i borrowed from my sister.the expository part was brewing for the usual treat i always find in sparks’ novels, ’til i turned the page where the male protagonist is being introduced.of all the names mr.sparks could use!i closed the book, telling myself i was not really in a reading mood.

   i turned the tv on and found kate hudson and luke wilson looming there in front of me.i thought ‘ei, found a good one’.’twas ‘alex and emma’, one of those usual romantic comedy flicks, but nevertheless entertaining.i was so engrossed in watching that i’ve managed to ignore the burning sensation that was seemingly flowing through me.even asked a caller to kindly call a little later ‘coz i’m onto something.then towards the end of the film, a line was thrown at my face,this one:

   “…i don’t know which is worse, having to know every single detail of how desperately you’ve fallen in love with another woman, or having to know that you never even came close to feeling the same way about me…”

   it was delivered with such passion i was crying before i could help it.kate hudson has blurted it out without warning, i automatically turned the tv off.how the movie ended i do not know.now all i could recall from the movie was that line.and why i tend to memorize movie lines i do not know as well.what i know is that i was suddenly aware of a throbbing headache,a constricted throat and burning eyes.

   that line sucks!damn that line for trying to haunt me.damn that line for trying to voice out what’s nagging at the back of my mind.i’ve pushed it so far behind and the last thing i need is a mocking line.

   smoked a stick,make that two,then three and i had to stop myself for i do not want to have emphysema a tad too early.

   i went back to bed, tried my best to lull myself to sleep.but my efforts remained futile. i was nursing myself with cold sponge when a friend came by.i was like ‘here comes an angel’.we talked for a few hours, though i’m afraid i just bored the pants off him.he was kind enough to keep me company and kinder not to say how boring i’ve been.the whole time i think i was blabbing, my mind was afloat.by the time i returned to bed i was chilling.still, no one was home.refusing to wallow in self pity,i’ve attempted to reach him,no answer.messaged him, he’s sleeping.i’ve woked him up,again!i just felt worse.

   it seemed like the rain outside has made it’s way through my bedroom windows and has poured on me.and once again,after a couple of months, this time with the chills and my blanket up to my chin, i cried myself to sleep.

A LETTER

07 SEPT 2005
dear heart,

  i honestly don’t how to start,perhaps the same story would do. though i’ve said it so many times,i’ll say it again,i’m sorry. i’m sorry that after all this time,i have not mastered the art of protecting you. i’m sorry that i tend to forget myself.
i’m sorry that i always give it my 101% and you always end up with nothing left but me.

  though i must say you cannot really blame me.i’ve told you this time is different.i’ve told you we cannot demand nor expect.i’ve told you we’re just there simply ‘coz we have to.we have to make him happy and we have to keep him from being down.
oh admit it,you’re also jubilant when his smile replaced his frown.

  i’ve told you it will be short-lived,until he finds his self once more in the arms of someone who’d truly make him happy.yes,we can make him happy,but he’s gotta be with someone with whom he would want to share that happiness.i’ve told you we can fulfill his wants, but only for the time being, and soon enough he’d find someone who can satisfy him without even trying.

and i’ve got to tell you now, that soon enough time is here.

oh,don’t start crying yet.let me finish at least.

  it was not your fault, nor was it anyone else’s.we were not asked to care for this man.we did it out of our own volition.if we knew when we should be there right by his side,we should also know when to evaporate from his life.we were given a cue, we gotta take it.i’m not saying it’s easy. but hey, we’ve done it once, we’ll do it again.we’re in this together.remember that excruciating six months?we’ll go through it again.

oh please,don’t start breaking now.if ever there’s a time i need you to be strong,it’s now.

  it was not something you or i did not do.it was not something you felt, nor was it something i’ve said.we just really did not make the cut,his cut.but that doesn’t mean we’re less of beings than those who did.it’s just the proverbial ‘different strokes for different folks’ or make that ‘different tastes’?i’m blabbing here i know, but i gotta make you understand ‘coz i know what you’re feeling is far from being grand.

   please don’t think of harry potter or chicken little or any other films we’re supposed to see,someone else would ask us don’t worry.somebody already did,we just didn’t pay attention.now don’t go thinking about galera nor subic, we can still go there together,yes you and i. we just gotta work on keeping the pieces together.

  i know it’s unfair,but i gotta admit i’m counting on you not to succumb to pain.i’m feeling it’s threat but right now i’m just willing myself to be numb.he needs a friend and that’s what the two of us are going to be alright?

  no,i’m not trying to pretend.i’m just trying to think rationally.at this point, i cannot afford to be emotional.oh sure,days ahead will find me once again going home,wiling the afternoons without anything to look forward to,but i’d have you,and memories of the past couple of months.i’d be willing you not to break and i ask that you will me not to cry. refrain from messaging him unless he wants you to do so.he would not reply anyway.why should he?and also, we gotta stop calling him.you and i both know that lately we’re just boring him to death.we’re only going to see him when he invites us to.we gotta stop making ourselves special for him.we just gotta be there for him,the way he needs us to be.we want him to be happy and we gotta let him.

oh,heart i’m so sorry that once again i’ve failed to keep you safe.but given another chance, you’d know i’d do the same thing.wouldn’t you???

   i’m sorry things are unfair and i’m sorry we cannot do anything about it.but in all of these, you can count on us to be together on anything.just please don’t go breaking now.
  if that’s an impossible plea, a little then maybe…just please don’t burst into pieces that i’d be having a difficult time putting you back together.

uhmmmm, i guess there’s nothin left for me to say…
and yes, you can cry now…
as promised, i’d cry with you…

A

I WANT TO… BUT…

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

i wanna write but i cannot…
thoughts swirling in my head bursting for release…
my inner self is egging me to type…
but something is holding me back…
why, how and since when are beyond me…
but days without writing has filled my head with such thoughts…
that i’m nearly scared of putting them into words…
such thoughts that are continuously nagging me…
threatening to eat me entirely if i don’t let ‘em out soon…
soon… i hope…